Santa Baby: my wish list

Dear Santa,

You and i both know i hate Christmas.... i think it was after that year my step-mom forced me to  walk the Santa Claus Parade as a fairy snow princess... Im still not sure what a fairy snow princess is but the itch of that costume will haunt my dreams for years to come.

Anyways, the last time i wrote you i was 8... at the time i believe i asked for an easy bake oven... as did my sister... we received 1 easy bake oven total.. but i wont complain it was a long time ago and i believe we can put that discretion behind us... in short, forgive you.

My list this year looks a little different Santa but i feel that i have been a good girl this year, ive curbed my swearing down to 1 fuck you a day  AND i even smiled at that guy who cut me off in the mall parking lot, it was at the same time as my daily fuck you BUT i was smiling so i think i still get points for the added holiday cheer!

Below please find my Christmas list, which i expect will be delivered on time and in the order with which they are asked:

1. Thinner thighs: i know your not God or whatever but maybe you can work something out with the guy upstairs... i figure if the Popes in Gods good books you've got to be in least second in line. OH and since were on the topic a pair of boobs would be helpful as well.

2. Man Meat: id like mine grade A with green eyes, black hair, pecs, great smile, money, good manners, great hands to do naughty and nice things with, money, respectful, kind, mature, good humoured and rich. You can just send him down topless with a bow covering his naughty bits THANKS

3. A job: you'd figure this one would be first right? id like to have my own office as well as great benefits, i would also like this job to pay as much as it cost to get the degree to be able to do the job. I'd like it to have an everyday casual day.... i would like there to be a beer fridge in the lunch room, i would like my pay checks to add up to the amount i agreed upon even AFTER taxes, no flexible hours because flexible hours just means " will you work overtime for free?"  i would like to be treated as though im important because i have something to offer NOT that im lucky because im being given something. I would like this job to be a place where people go to work NOT a place where people go to talk about other people. I DONT want a job that values the work of the people who approve changes over the work of those who have to make the changes. i also want a mid day nap time because i get sleepy around noon!

4. My own condo: One thats worth 200,000 and includes enough room for me to walk around in a cirlce and not just in a straight line.

5. A new wardrobe: Or even my old one would be nice.. actually if you could just put all the clothes my sisters have stolen from me back into my closet i think that would suffice...

6. Geeky Glasses: There just so CUTE and kinda hipster, i dont know what hipster means exactly but it sounds adorable!


Thats it.... 6 items which i feel are fairly asked for and hey what the hell throw in world domination peace too while were at it!

Thanks for listening big guy
Sincerely Yours,
Constar

p.s. Merry Christmas my bloggy friends... i hope the Holdiays bring you peace!