Pintrest and love interest

Firstly let me say that i am in LOVE with pintrest.
Secondly let me say that i have no right to hold a paintbrush and have ruined all the walls in my new house attempting to paint (the pictures will come along shortly)

Thirdly lets talk about love. I have taken a vow of celibacy. yes thats right, i have taken a mother fucking vow.... thats some serious shit. But why connie? what has happened you may ask?

NOT TELLING. you know why? because its embarrassing but what i will say is that i have developed a deep hatred for anything with a penis and that includes male animals, male insects, cars, sports, chicken wings, beer and terms that include men in them such as "take it like a man"

Saturday night i went out for a friends birthday party. Now me being me i got there about 2 hours early... decided id sit at one of the tables at a local bar, have a beer and read a bit of my book... maybe even order some french fries despite my diet because at the end of the day i eat my feelings,and lets just say on Saturday i had enough feelings to feed the needy.

So im sitting there thinking lonely thoughts, looking for my book in my mess of a purse and thats when i saw her.....

Sitting at the far end of the bar in a booth by herself was an older woman with died blonde hair and mismatched clothing, by herself, eating pountine drinking a beer, reading a book, and every so often staring out the window in longing...... OMFG it was my FUTURE! okay maybe a little dramatic but i felt a kindred spirit. Of course i kind of picture myself alone at home eating poutine and reading my fave Nora Roberts book in peace but whatever.

But as i stared at this woman, and she stared out the window in sadness i thought, you know what.... she doesnt have it half bad if she is alone.... i mean whats there to miss in a relationship really.... the insecurity? the lies? the confrontation? the feeling of someone shaking up your beliefs? having to deal with someone elses emotional roller coaster? having to share your thoughts all the time or being judged on your behaviour?


FUCK THAT!

Here this woman got to sit alone without being asked "what wrong" or worse NOT being asked whats wrong because the person sitting across from you was too self involved to care. IF she was alone she never had to worry about what WASNT going to happen on Valentines day, or her birthday or anniversary. She never had to worry about being decieved and conned into believing the fake "i love you's" or worrying that maybe it was all just about the sex.... she never had to watch her temper or be sweet when she'd rather yell, be strong when she'd rather cry. Wonder if a man thought she was pretty or sexy, wonder if they thought someone else was prettier. She didnt have to wait for a phone call that wasnt comming or an email she shouldnt send. She didnt have to worry about the gut wrenching intensity of being emotionally thrown for a loop and then left to pick up the pieces of her self esteem and try to love another.... and another.... always wondering "is this the one" She didnt have to try to remain awake while a man with a small penis and a big ego tried to do what he was clearly incapable of!

NO she was a fucking BOSS. The boss of her own life.... she could sit there and enjoy a beer instead of having to figure her way through the maze that is having a conversation with a man. She could read instead of watching him watch the TV above her head. She could watch the hot bartender make drinks instead of watching a man watch the hot waitress. THATS RIGHT she knew the way to go.

And thus my vow has been set. No men, one year... maybe longer if i have to. I have decided they are obviously like a disease on the female brain and i cannot afford disease! mark my words, i would rather be at a bar in thirty years with a book and a beer, then at home with a man!