walk it off (warning, this post was written while on some serious pain meds, it may get ugly)

when i was 16 i fell down the stairs. On the second floor of my moms house we had one of those baby gates right at the base of the staircase. This was done so  that lizzie bee (my baby sis), wouldnt hurt herself while she was running around like a 2 foot crazy person.

She used to get her kicks by  running up and down the second floor hallway outside her room screaming " bob da builder, can we fix IT, booobbbb da builder yes he  CAN"  i knoww sounds soooo cute right? NOT at 9 am on a saturday though ive gotta say, i dont  do " awww so cute" at 9 am on a saturday!

My mom was a nut case with these gate things. I mean she would make them so damn tight, there was no way anyone was going to get passed it. After trying a few different methods to get the baby gate loose one morning, without any sucess,  i decided id climb over it to get down the stairs instead.... sometimes my stupidity suprises me, it really does.

 So i put one leg over the gate and got stuck, with a plastic gate  in between my legs, and neither of my feet touching the ground. Turns out 118 pounds is about all a plastic gate can withstand (see!!  i was doing market research to test the safety of baby proofing your house... turns out these contraptions can be dangerous to air heads... who knew? )  i was sent tumbling down the stairs, gate between my legs and all.

 (an intermission  for visiuals and laughter... go ahead let it out.......................... alright thats enough!)

When i landed on my back at the bottom i did what all the kids in my house are taught to do, i walked it off. Yup, no sympathy in these here parts for a boo-boo! if you dont need stitches youll be alright!

The next morning my body felt like i had just fallen down a flight of wooden stairs with a baby gate stuck between my legs, but the chances of my parents letting me stay in bed, instead of going to class, because of a fall down the stairs was laughable. So i went, and while my older sister blabbed on and on about her boyfriend during our spare,  i began to take off my knapsack and start studying (ummm oky maybe not so much to start studying and more to get the smokes out of it).

So  I pulled my arms back to slide off the starps and POP. All the wind just knocked right out of me, my mouth dropped and i let out a very inaudable scream, it was much louder in my head.

Now my sister was brought up in the same school of " walk it off" as i was so she knew when i said, " i cant move" that i wasnt bullshiting. She ended up getting me a cab, which took me home.

Turns out i had dislocated a rib, or a disc? i cant recall which, all i know is that it was disclocated and it had to be popped  back into place. For all of those who have been to a chiropractor how scary is it when they do the neck thing? i mean you can only fuck that one up once right.

Any way, my backs never been the same. So yesterday im at subway, ready to eat fresh, when i turned the wrong way and POP, my mouth drops and all the wind gets knocked out of me. I sat in the car for the full half hour arguing with myself, dont worry no one answered bk, saying " connie dont be a little bitch, put the key in the egnition and drive the car" i lost that argument, and my boss had to pick me up and drive me to the emergency room.

what a fucking friday eh? so now i write to you, with lots of drugs in my system, half asleep, wishing i could tell you guys about the adventure i had with epsen salts (thats not how you spell it is it?)  or even the time i tried out for Canadian Idol, but i cant.

 In fact i would like to congratulate myself for even getting this far into my story. You know whats really fucked up? these pills put you to sleep, give you a wicked headache in the morning,  but dont take away any pain!!!! what the hell is the point of that. had i known i would have just bought myself a bottle of wine and called it a day!

i was going to say something else i think........ahhh  forget it.

 good night toronto!!!!! im going to go into a coma now.