And the winner is.....

Ive got a disease..... a disease of the mouth.... its called FIN syndrome... as in when i get to the convo its FIN.... because instead of the convo carrying on everyone just stares at me in awe as things fly out of my mouth and slap them all in the face. (hahahaha *sigh* im probably the only one who thinks thats clever right?)

Anyways, Ive been told this disorder is cure able by using the brain to actively stop my mouth from moving. I have yet to master this skill.... below is the list of the best and worst things to come out of my mouth, mostly because i have nothing better to write about today:

1.Co-worker: Its like 6 of one, and half a dozen of the other
    Me: I don't get it
   Co-worker: There the same thing
  Me: ....... ohhhhhhh hahaha

2. Me at a party: So when you give a guy a hand job is the skin suppose to be in the fist or underneath the fist? i always get that one wrong.

3. Me at the cottage: OMG is that a real deer head on the wall? thats the worst thing ive ever seen why would someone do that.
Owner of the Cottage: Because i like hunting
Me: ohhhh ya.... of course... no i mean a lot of people like killing things...... as long as you eat it right?

4.Me: I think my doctor is a sexual predator.... he keeps telling me to clench my vagina
   My exes sister: You mean kegal exercises?
   Me: Ya, but why would he care if my vagina is tight though..... think about it.

5. Me at work: Ok a guy who has a girlfriend is 70 % off limits, but a guy who has a wife thats like 110% off limits.... i dont fuck with wives.

6. Me in the car: LEGOUT, yellow Lamborghini, yellow tints tinted.
    Friend: thats not even close to how it goes, why would you think he says legout?
   Me: Cuz thats how dogs pee... with a leg out.... like a boss, get it?
   Friend: No, no i dont.

7. Me: POCAHONTAS WAS A REAL PERSON?

This is obviously a work in progress...... there is just so much more i have to offer the world.