Lets Give Thanks: what im thankful for this turkey day

On this thanksgiving we didn't do our usual embarrassing "what are you thankful for" speeches that our family usually does around the table... no this year my step mom is all about "finding your supreme being and the divine in me recognizes the divine in you" so instead she gave a blessing that ended with "namisday" not "amen".... which left the older generation at the table confused, and my dad doing the sign of the cross.... and my little sister in a fit of giggles.

So since i didn't get to bore my family with all my thanks i shall bore you:

CONNIE'S TURKEY DAY THANKS

1. I am thankful for the Turkey i ate that my little sister named Jeremy. Jeremy was delicious, i am also thankful I'm not a vegetarian and that naming the Turkey did nothing to deter me from eating the Turkey!

2. I am thankful for the use of my left foot, as it was last thanksgiving that i broke it i feel that i should be thankful this year that i got through it without breaking, bruising or cutting myself!

3. I am thankful for the job i get to come to today, because this job keeps me from being homeless as well as from having to much time on my hands that would have been spent contemplating life, the end of the world, and living vicariously through the characters on Gossip Girl.

4. I am thankful for my new home, that makes me feel like a big girl and stops me from killing my family.

5. I am thankful for my glasses, that have kept me from getting into another car accident or killing pedestrians.

6. I am thankful for my crazy step mom who says namisday and listens to sanskrit music... because she blesses me and you can never have too many blessings... even if they are in sanskrit. Shes also taught me what "cleaning" really means, which means my door knobs and walls are sparkling.

7. I am thankful for my friends who stop me from being lonely in my new house, which would eventually lead to contemplation mentioned above and without supervision  possibly alcoholism.

8. I am thankful for the spiders that live in my vents and the stray cats that live in my yard.... the cats mean i wont have mice and the spiders mean i wont have roaches.... because no amount of sparkling door knobs will make your house feel clean when you've got roaches and mice.

9. I am thankful for my little sisters who make me feel old. But also make me feel grateful for not being part of the "kesha-iphone-tumbler-twitter-instagram-aritzia-ombrey" generation.... becuase nothing can be worse that being spoiled and dumb with a camera.

10. I give thanks to my mother who gave me food and my father who fixed my stove, because my mother knows i wont use the stove and my father doesn't want me to go without. I am also thankful that i will not be subjected to my own cooking until i run out of Turkey and by then... it ll be Christmas :)

Namisday.