ackwardness and amaretto sours

So this morning i feel like a major douchette! why you ask? well let me tell you a story about friends, sex, and assholess!

Yesterday me and 2 of my girlfriends went to Moxies, a nice bar/restaurant right up the street from our house. This particular Moxies is also an employer of another friend of mine. Just to make this easier i will give you their names in order to do an awesome flashback:

Girl 1 who went with me: Amal
Girl 2 who went with me: Natacha
Girl 3 who works at Moxies: Sophia.
Boy 1: Julio, Sophia's Ex
Boy 2: Steve, Natachas Ex who sadly passed away

Okay now for crazy flashback story:

In a land far far north from you in a time where my girls discovered how fun being a slut can be and i gained 30 pounds trying to get through my first year at a soul sucking university, there were a group of hoodlums who like to hang out in group fashion, in parking lots. So this group of girls and boys began to pair off and begin dating one another. It was at this time that Natacha's boyfriend passed away, I broke up with mine for not coming to the funeral with me because i felt his heart was two sizes too small, and Sophia broke up with Julio for being a cheating bastard.

its a year after Steves passing, and sophia and julio are beginning to argue and eventually break up for good, and natacha turned into a crazy person. i mean she began to believe that by having sex with multiple people that she didn't entirely know, that she would somehow be loved the way steve loved her. Because of this i could never judge what happened next, i don't know what being in that state feels like so i cant say what i would have done.

Julio and natacha had been pretty close friends at this point and he confided his "hurt feelings" to her (i hate this asshole). So he then began to tell Natacha he loved her and that in reality it should have been her that he was with all those years he spent with soph! YA HE SAID THAT!

So natacha who had been waiting for someone to pull her out of the hurt she was feeling, had some form of relations (not sure how far it went) with julio a few weeks after him and soph broke up.. i was told not to breath a word of it to soph but someone else did and that was pretty much the end of their 7 year friendship.

4 years later and Sophia is now friends with Julio but refuses to make amends with Natacha, believing that she is the worse of the two evils in this story.
So who gets stuck in the middle? ME! yes its always me.

FAST FORWARD. Me, amal and tasha are on our way to where Sophia works. i don't notice that thats where we are going because i was up in my own world. once i realize where we are i text soph a warning so that she can be prepared to see enemy numero uno. As we are walking out to our cars at the end of the night i see soph. or in least i THOUGHT i saw soph, my eyesight is ridiculously bad so i wasn't 100% and didn't want to make an idiot of myself. i therefore kept walking. i then get a text from soph which reads "just saw you walk out"

so now it looks like i saw soph but because i was with tash i ignored her! i know this sounds very high school but most girls never grow out of high school entirely. we all have a little inner dialogue that speaks high school no matter how hard you try to suppress it. so now i feel like a douchette. i apologized to her but never received a response.

if anyone even reads this damn blog... what do you think... will that have looked like a douche move? should i feel like a horrible person cuz i kinda do. Also please keep in mind that i have a manic tendency to over think and over analyze all situations.. also please keep in mind that i am PMS'ing which means, as the ladies will note, that my own thoughts cant be trusted and may just be a figment of my hormones...