My Nonno the Magician

So yesterday i got sick. like really sick... stomach flu.
I caught it from my little sister who is 11 or something like that. Anyway she got it at school, all the kids are sick at the elementary school she goes to, and of course she brought the little germies over to us.

See this is the reason i cannot have children. do you see what could happen? i have the lowest immune system EVER! so as soon as those little brats catch something, i will be suffering to! no, sorry but i think i will pass on having a bunch of virus catchers in my house!

So yesterday while i was sick i pretty much got the pampering of a life time. i remember when i was kid and got sick my mom would make me this crazy mix that she said helps you feel better when you have a stomach virus. apparently this is an italian recipe that my grandfather brought back from the mother country, and would make for my mom when she was sick. Please keep in mind that my grandfather grew up extremely poor and in some quiet little mountain village in the outskirts of calabria. Im pretty sure that this concoction has something to do with the village doctor, and also shows that my grandfather must have been the strongest man alive to be able to endure this type of cure for illness. Please note that it is almost as crazy as his cure for malocchio which i will share with you in a moment.


here is my grandfathers cure for stomach ache's:

- Warm Milk
- a bit of coffee
- 1 egg (ya you just crack it over the glass no cooking necessary)
- and a teaspoon of brandy or rum .. really any alcohol will do.

This is not joke people.. my mom as fed me this in the past and you know what.. after throwing it up i felt much better.

here is his cure for malocchio:

- Water (generally holy water)
- Virgin olive oil
- 1 real silver necklace

Use:
- put oil and water into a cup
- Take silver necklace and dip it into the cup
- start making the sign of the cross with the necklace held over the individual with maloccio.
- pray the "our father"
- do this over and over again until the person is cured

for those of you who are not aware of what malocchio stands for here is a dictionary definition:

The evil eye belief is that a person -- otherwise not malific in any way -- can harm you, your children, your livestock, or your fruit trees, by *looking at them* with envy and praising them. The word "evil" is unfortunate in this context because it implies that someone has "cursed" the victim, but such is not the case. A better understanding of the term "evil eye" is gained if you know that the old British and Scottish word for it is "overlooking," which implies merely that the gaze has remained too long upon the coveted object, person, or animal. In other words, the effect of the evil eye is misfortunate, but the person who harbours jealousy and gives the evil eye is not necessarily an evil person per se.


ya and this jelousy can be reversed with olive oil and holy water as per my nonno's instructions.

My best friend is Armenian.. their way of dealing with the evil eye is to scratch your ass, now thats impressive and more enjoyable i might add.