Bittersweet Symphony

So a coworker of mine starts discussing dating... apparently he hates it... i have to agree especially since at the moment i hate the entire male species. Anyways, the argument around these here parts is that the whole dating thing is harder for a male then it is for a female, you know the usual argument..

It generally goes something like: guys have to make the first call while girls get to sit back and wait. Which, to set the record straight, one does not simply wait for the guy shes eyeing to ask her out my friend. Shes busy trying to act natural, while giving you the sex eye, and trying to figure out if you are actually hot or if its just the strange lighting and those evil pms symptoms!

So im sitting here thinking about the points i could make that would  show how being a female in the dating scene is not all that simple, but im thinking maybe that introduction dance we all do is awkward for everyone involved.

What i can say though is that IN the relationship... once a boy decides he likes the girl and the girl decides she likes the boy..... that middle part.... thats where guys have it easier.

Im about to go women's studies on your asses... i apologize in advance. When it comes to living in the cocoon of a relationship bubble, women are constantly in this battle to hide their crazy! there i said it! i feel free now.

 I cant count how many times ive heard a guy say "ya dude im done with that shit... shes crazy" oh ya... well behind every woman at the prescription isle of the drug store is a man she's either planning to poison, or one who has driven her to take Xanex... just sayin.

None of us wants to be the crazy one... we dont want to loose our shit on you if you cant be nice enough to clean up after yourself... no instead we ask  "sweety would you mind putting your dishes in the sink" rather than " put your shit away I'm not your fucking mother" 

or " no, you can be friends with her i just want you to be honest" instead of " who the fuck is this bitch and why are you bullshitting me"

or " Ya of course you have to work tonight" instead of " why didnt you tell me that before i shaved my legs!"

And this constant battle, the reason our crazy flag is dying to pop up, is because the pressure we feel from the fear of being a stereotype is stressful as shit... Maybe back in the day the fear was just of becoming  like your mother... but now, with facebook/twitter/instagram and Kim Kardashians ass, its become more than that.

 We dont want to be your mom, but we want to be the one bringing you chicken soup so you know you can depend on us.... we dont want to be a whore but we want you to know that we can meet your needs,  we dont want to be the virgin but we want you to know you can introduce us to your family. We definitely dont want to be a bitch, but we dont want you taking advantage of us either.

That balancing act is something men dont have to worry about! Because they dont have the pressures women have following them around everywhere. Its as simple as the grocery store check out line... that magazine rack is like a beacon of insecurity.... the picture on the front cover of a magazine about being an ass man or a boob man, how to get the sexiest abs in 20 minutes, is the way to his heart really through his stomach?

Even the tabloids with a big picture of Angelina Jolie and a itty bitty one of Jenifer Anniston... no one wants to be anniston in that story! So on top of your stereotypes you have the whole women vs women thing happening.... jealousy and envy...It becomes exhausting!


So ya a guy has to call a girl, and maybe has to make the first move...  i wouldn't down play that  pivotal role, i know it takes balls! but at the end of the day, if the roles were reversed..... i dont think a man could handle being on the other side, thats why they get the little jobs like asking for our number :). Happy fishing, and let your crazy flag fly.