I love you, But i love me more

So lets do this Carrie Bradshaw style...

The question has always been, can boys and girls really be "just friends" but what happens to your girlfriends once your in a relationship. Do you still need a best girl friend when your best friend is now suppose to be the man in your life?

When we are younger we needed that best friend. Its how we figured out who we were right? we'd tell them our secrets, our memories. We'd tell them which boy we thought was cute, and then later we'd tell them which boy we wanted to be our first. We'd tell them all of these things, as much for comfort and a sense of camaraderie, as we did for acceptance.

 All of this seemed to me like practice. Practice for when we were in a long and loving relationship with a boy. So do the tables turn then when we find the one?

We stop needing the acceptance of the girls and we start needing acceptance from our men. We want this guy to love us exactly as we are, we want them to be loyal and want to be loyal back. We want to tell them our secrets and have them accept them and us.
Ive seen a lot of people struggle with the balance, to keep your girl friends close and their boyfriends closer. Ive seen people struggle with having their friends slowly separate from them and become different... indifferent... or scarce..

Ive always felt it was the natural progression of things... but at what point is that acceptable.. I lied to my girlfriends... i told them i was busy or that i had some family emergency... when really i just wanted to hang out with 'him'. Ive had people do the same to me... lie or even straight up break plans to be with the boy they love. They become molded to that person. Friendship takes second place and thats okay. Thats normal. Thats life.

 My biggest fear though is to give it all up, to stop working on the relationships ive built over the years and then wake up one day not remembering who i am... not having anyone to call on a lonely Saturday or worse, realizing that the guy you gave it all up for wasn't actually the right one, and now you've burned your bridges deliberately and are left on the other side, where the grass isnt as green as you thought it would be.

I worked hard on my relationships, i have an understanding and a bond with my people that im not willing to break because i want a ring on my finger.

Sam in Sex and The City says " I love you, but i love me more" and that's exactly it. I love me the most, I need the people who remind me of who i am. I need my family and my friends. I need my life.

I cant make my life all about the boy, so i guess for me ya its possible. But for others, maybe they just dont know what their missing... or maybe im just single.