My whole life

So i dont have cable.... i dont mean that in the hipster "i dont dirty my mind with mainstream media" kind of way but in the purely "i cant afford it" kind of way.

I love mainstream media... in fact when i was off of work i watched so much TV it was difficult to keep track of things that actually happened in real life and things that happened on The Good Wife... like my friend would start talking about who was cheating on who and id start to say " so i know this lawyer right and her husband cheated on her so she goes into work wearing awesome shoes......... wait..........." kind of felt like i was in the hunger games " real or not real?"

Anywho... so ive been watching a lot of 90210 on netflix recently... ive never actually watched the new version because lets face it there was only 1 90210! you cannot remake that kind of drama or remake dillon which they totally tried to do with that bad ass with a big heart guy WHO by the way regardless of his 17 year old status i would totally climb like a spider monkey looking for bananas ( this celibacy shit is no joke... i had a very naughty dream about a 17 year old last night that im not ready to talk about)

So im watching this show and drinking a bottle of vodka i start feeling... ummm... old? First of all im pretty sure i looked older than that when i was 17 didnt i???? and secondly they keep saying things like "youve ruined my whole life"

Your WHOLE life? are you fucking kidding me dude? do you know how lonnngggg that is. I mean things that happened in high school didnt even ruin a full year of my life.

So im sitting there yelling at the TV saying things like " AH forget him silver youve got years to go sweety"
or " ohhh you want to discover yourself? YOUR 16 go discover some vagina!"

or "The guy put rose petals on the bed at least give em a blow job JESUS what a bitch"    

Not sure if that last one was age related or just due to my twisted belief that men think of blow jobs the way girls think of thank you notes.... they do right? cuz if not ive wasted a lot of toothpaste!

So i guess the moral of the story is theres no good tv on tv... and im verging on cougardom!