Oh Christmas Tree

Twas 3 weeks before christmas and all through the night, not a creature was stirring... except for connie... and possibly some spiders....
I bought a tree yesterday!!!  and spent $250 on about a thousand ornaments when i really only needed about 25 because my "6 foot" tree was not a 6 foot tree...you cant make a 5 foot tree, put a super long branch at the top and call it a 6 footer... thats cheating china!!! thats cheating!

I know $250 seems like a lot but its really not my fault!!  there are wayy too many choices of ornaments in these places.    I started with the safe gold and red at first, but then there were these acorns from homesense, sure i want acorns! Some wooden nutcrackers from the dollar store, im a nutcracker myself so i felt they belonged with me.  Then the reindeers and the ribbon and the Santas and the signs. This was the first year that i could do whatever i wanted with the color scheme and i was dizzy with power and the spirit of going poor holiday shopping.

So anyways, sometime after my intoxicating spree through the land of christmas cheer, i began to decorate my tree. At first everything was fine, i swooshed the ribbon around the branches and clipped some pretty gold things to it and put some shiny red balls on it to accentuate the red ribbon thingy (im really good at this obvs) but then i stabbed myself with a pair of scissors (accidental, although Christmas does make me slightly suicidal) and sometime after i was done bleeding i began to drink the wine... because i said fuck it thought it might help bring out my inner artist.... but my inner artist was drunk too.... .

When i woke up on the couch a few hours later  it looked like christmas exploded in my living room....
And within the mess.... my first christmas tree :)