Chapter 5: Now this is war

Tony and my Mom decide to move in together after about a year of dating. Partially a relief seeing as he was beginning to take over our living room sofa with his little sleep overs, and disturbed my ability to watch cartoons in there, having to wait until he woke up to do so.




Sometimes he was awake when i came down into the living room, and i would say looking at him with disgust, " well as long as you sleep on the couch we'll be alright"





He was not pleased with my little comments, always saying " ya okay there connie" and walking away. One day i walked downstairs to find him not on the couch, but moments later coming down from my mothers room. I almost gagged, i said, " Seriously? that's just disgusting." looking back i guess i was a bit of bitch, but in my mind he deserved every second of it.





So once we decided that we were moving into his big house in North York, i was prepared for battle. After about a week of living there i began the war, i figured i should wait a week since i was living in a house he technically owned. He deserved in least a week of nice in his own home, before i took out the big guns.



At first it was little things just to irritate him like stomping around the house because i knew he hated it, then slowly it became a little more than small annoyances, i would call him out to my mom about doing things he wasn't suppose to do, such as smoking in the house with me and my brother around.





My personal favourite is the time he forgot us at the community pool down the street from our new home. It was the first time Tony was in charge of watching us , and he decided to drop us off at the pool, saying that he would come back and pick us up in a few hours, but he never showed. Later i would learn that he fell asleep due to all the work he was doing on the house that summer.



Once me and Pat were done swimming and realized he wasn't coming to get us, we decided to start walking. We were around 9 and 11 years of age at this point and had walked ourselves home from school back in Toronto everyday, at a much younger age, so we were more than capable of getting home alone from the pool that day. But Tony's actions gave me an opportunity to make him seem unfit to be the man in my mothers life, and i was going to use it to my full advantage.





The house was a 5 minute walk in a straight line from the pool, and we made it without any issues, but i knew if i made it sound just a bit worse than it was, my mother would have a conniption. She was the type of mother who wouldn't allow me to walk to a friends house if there was some drizzle outside, for fear that it would turn into a full blown lightning storm before i made it down the street. So i knew exactly what was going to happen when i called her to tell her about my day. This is the conversation from my end, i think you can fill in the blanks as to her responses:


" Hi mom, ya I'm good just walked home from the pool"

"well he was suppose to pick us up at 3, so we waited two hours before walking by ourselves." we were actually swimming for two hours and didn't mind at all that Tony forgot.

"We waited on the sidewalk for him but when he didn't show i tried to find my way back to the house. I ended up getting lost for a bit though" no i didn't i knew exactly where the house was.

" Mom its fine, in fact I'm glad Tony didn't drive, he had a few beers before he dropped us off at the pool, and it looks like he had a few more when he got back home, so its probably safer that we walked." That's just a flat out lie.

" Oh he's here, just sleeping. you want me to wake him up? "



I then told my Dad the exact same story when he picked me up from my Moms the following weekend, needless to say he had some choice words to share with Tony about the incident, i loved every second of it!


Then one day my mom decides to even the score with me, using the method she always uses to get me to behave and act as she wants, guilt. It was a summer afternoon and i had just walked into the house from reading in our backyard when i see my mom sitting on the couch sniffling, and staring at the television set.




i roll my eyes knowing shes crying, and because i know i have to ask, " whats up mom?"



she gives me a weak smile and almost whispers, " come here sweety" and so i reluctantly shuffle over to her, she hugs me and says " have i been a good mother?"



why did i come back inside!!! with a sigh i answer, " yes mom you are a great mother, why whats wrong?"



She pats the couch seat next to her and i sit down, looking away and wiping more tears from her cheeks she says " why don't you like Tony?"




argggg i don't know maybe because he is an irresponsible, ugly, smelly man who thinks that he has a right to treat me like im his daughter, and actually believes that he has any say over disciplining me. oh and because he has no table manners, in fact no manners at all. OH and he is always sucking on his teeth for some reason which makes the most irritating sound and he smokes like a chimney making this entire house smell like shit, and each morning he wakes up the whole house by clearing his throat and hacking into the KITCHEN SINK when there are dishes in it, dishes he expects me to clean now that threes this disgusting HACK all over them, not to mention the fact that he eats out of the pan before dinner, meaning his disgusting mouth germs are all over the food by the time we get to it, which just so happens to be the reason i refuse supper almost every night, and the real kicker is he wears socks and sandals... EW!



i could go on and on here really, but i say instead, " i don't think he is good enough for you mom, why would you settle for that?"





Then her eyes get big, she looks hurt and offended, her voice no longer soft she says " i am not settling, you were happy when your Dad met Teresa weren't you, you hug her and tell her you love her and you respect what she says. But Tony says good morning and you just walk right by him like he isn't even there"





Now I'm a bit pissed, what right does she have to say that?! I was just as disrespectful to Teresa in the beginning for fear of receiving a guilt trip from my mom, and she had no idea what went on over there, so now my voice starts to rise just a bit, " That's probably because believing he isn't there allows me to live under the same roof with him, and Teresa has been with dad now like 6 years or something, by now shes part of the family. But i don't even know Tony, what do you want, me to be his best friend or something?"




My mom looks even more angry now, her cheeks getting all red. This is when she begins to act like a kid, i know that face and i know whats coming. My mom lost her mother when she was 12 and she was forced to pretty much take care of her dad, my grandfather, after that. She never had a real childhood and i take that as the reason for some of her actions and reactions,
" Fine! you obviously don't want me to be happy, why don't you just pack your bags and go live with your father then"



That's when i loose it. A few years later i would learn how to deal with these types of conversations where my mother was concerned. I would just listen to her rant, and walk away finding it made things easier on everyone.


But at the time i only spoke from the heart, not thinking with my brain first, " all you think about is yourself. Did you talk to me at all before you started dating him? did you ask me if i wanted to move? listen i get that you get to chose your own life and stuff, but its not just your life its mine too, that's what happens when you have kids mom you have to think about whats best for the whole. Oh and just for your information i will NEVER like him, i will NEVER get along with him. Dad asked me my opinion of Teresa when they met because he cared about how i felt, you DON'T" and now I'm crying.




My mom was already walking away at this point, she spun around fresh tears in her eyes, shaking and said " well you better learn to like him or you can just go live with your dad, your being the selfish one, your the one who doesn't want me to be happy!! " and she ran into the washroom sobbing.




i grabbed my book and walked back outside fuming, just as a ball came flying into my backyard over the next door neighbours fence.