I started this blog in March. I started this blog to write, write about life, my awkward moments, my thoughts, my experiences.
I wrote for about 3 months without 1 solitary follower.... thinking "whateves i write for me, " until one day i signed into blogger and saw that beautiful green icon with "3 followers" next to it
i felt pressure in a part of my brain that i never felt before.
was it sucess? no.
a feeling of excitement? nope. it was more like this:
3 FUCKING PEOPLE LIKE READING MY BLOG BITCHESSSSSSS!!!!
After brushing my shoulders off, i wrote more and more and then i had 14.... 15......16......
Today i logged onto blogger and i have 31 !!!! For those of you who have sooooo much more you can suck it , CUZ IM COMING FOR YOU!!!!!
sorry about that....... that sounded creepy..... and your probably all locking your doors right now.... or looking behind you... which you should because IMMMMMMM HEREEEEE.
No really im becomming obsessed with gaining followers. It feels like finding Easter eggs or collecting Pokemon cards and i want the Chamelion soooo bad!!
its an addiction, i log onto blogger constantly, staring at that number... refreshing the page because maybe somebody is following me RIGHT NOW.
I re-read my blog posts over and over again, wondering how i can inject more awesomeness. I think about blog topics, I search other blogs to see how they get their followers.
You know how i love lists right!? Here's a list of the type of blogs who have the most followers. They are in no particular order btw.
1. Stay at home moms/wives with lots off pictures of cute babies and homemade cookies: SCREW YOU GUYS AND YOUR CUTE KIDS THAT MAKE ME FEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY AND YOUR PERFECTLY MADE COOKIES THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE MY MOM SUCKS!!!!!!!!
2. People who draw pictures of stuff: SCREW YOU GUYS AND YOUR AWESOME DRAWINGS SKILLS AND AFFINITY FOR MAKING SILLY CHILDLIKE PICTURES LOOK AWESOME!
<--- Here's a picture i drew of a cute baby! only it kinda looks like he's an old man-baby-person who needs an exorcism. But see how i took number one and two and put them together? you like that shit eh? FYI: my art teacher quit me.
3. Fashion Blogs: SCREW YOU GUYS AND YOUR PICTURES OF PRETTY SHOES I CANT AFFORD AND SKINNY MODELS WHO MAKE ME WANT TO THROW UP THE MCCHICKEN I HAD FOR LUNCH!!!
4. Humour blogs : SCREW YOU GUYS FOR MAKING NORMAL EVERYDAY OCCURRENCES SEEM LIKE THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS EVER AND MAKE ME WONDER WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF IT FIRST
5. People who do exciting stuff like travel the world and feed the poor: SCREW YOU GUYS WHO DO STUFF THATS GOOD FOR THE WORLD AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR NOT HAVING ENOUGH ENERGY TO CLEAN MY ROOM LET ALONE BUILD A SCHOOL!
Sorry about that... i lashed out a little there....
But you see i found a way to exceed all of those listed above... i must find a way to put all of the stuff they talk about individually, together into 1 blog... so i googled baby/ poor/travel/fashion/funny and this is what i got
ITS BAMBI !!!! the secret was the deer* the whole time. I never saw it coming.
* if your a new follower and have no idea why it was funny that the answer was a deer, go read my "concrete and the majesty" post and it will all come together i promise! but even if you don't read that post.... bambi coming up is still weird right?*
9 comments:
It's always the deer...dammit, I should have seen that one coming. Thanks for feeding my Comment habit. Hi I'm Nari and I am a Comment Crackhead.
Hilarious!! I'm your new stalker ;)
I'm gonna whore you out on twitter!
Btw, I'm so excited cause I know how you feel, but I have 99 followers now!!!!
not meaning to rub it in.
CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com
Found you thanks to CBG's tweet - so her whoring you out just bought another follower.
What a great post... i think we have all felt that way a little, especially in the beginning when those first couple followers pop up and you suddenly realize absolute strangers are reading your shit.. and actually enjoying it. weird.
SD
http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/
@nari: no thank YOU for feeding MY comment habit lol! its almost as bad as my follower habit!
@Haph: ive always wanted a stalker!
@CBG: awww thanks for being my pimp and whoring me out! i need to get around more you know! congrats on 99 oh no dont worry im not crazy jealous!
@Simple Dude: thank you for stopping by! ya exactly! whats even weirder is i have that application where it tells you how many people are on your blog at that exact moment. Its kind of like having people over at your house and they go to use the washroom and your like "omg did i clean it enough? i wonder what they think of the new painting i put on the wall! " kinda like that, but completely different
Don't damn the humor bloggers. You are one :P very funny
See, Bambi is the secret! That cute little deer is all you need to gain massive popularity and world domination.
Well I think you're fantastic and I say go for it!
And BTW, I suspect, whether you like it or not, you sort of fall into the humour blogs. Live with it. Funny people are DA BOMB!...and no, I have never used that expression before, and I'm quite certain I never will again.
@ Ben: thank you! im glad you think so!
@ Sandra: i know! thanks! i love funny blogs, i just wasn't sure how successful id be at making people laugh through writing. its hard yo! no i've never said yo before. lol now we're even!
Girl for someone who said such it, and screw you to the funny blogs out there, you are HILARIOUS,,, like seriously. This whole post just cracked me up. I can almost relate, ok, I relate, lol.
Glad that little lamb, nominated you, and I had to come check you out, I love this. OK, so I may just be one more follower for you to get excited over, lol.
Now don't go hating my blog now, I am a mommy, and I cook, and I want to save the world, and I am crafty, yadda yadda, pretty much all the things you said screw you to, BUT, I have yet to hit the big time, so does that qualify me for your approval.
Hope you swing by, and say hello, just leave the potty mouth, here, where we can chat, on a more grown up level. ha ha.
Bella :)
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