Not Gonna

So i'm at the bar on Friday night when an older gentlemen who looks a lot like David Sazuki and Amy Winehouse's love child, walks up to me and asks if i want a drink.

Me: Nope
Avid Winezuki (did i do that right? i don't think people merge the last names usually but i feel like they should, it just gives it the full effect you know?):So, you live around here?
Me: yup
Avid Winezuki: its a small town, whats your last name?
Me: -------- (i stated it)
Avid Winezuki: Oh you must be related to Tony then
Me: ya, he's my dad

Old man takes a step back, fear written on his face.  I then recognized him from my dads superbowl nights.... eww.

I told the above story to a coworker today:

Over Achieving Sales Guy: you shouldn't have told him your last name, next time say your last name is FU. That should get the point across
Me: ya, and my first name will be Not Gonna
OASG: --- silence--- 
Me:----- uncontrollable laughter ----
OASG:  ----- chuckles in mock approval and discomfort-----
Me: hahaha get it? not gonna FU,  it would just answer the question their already asking in their head without having to bother me with awkward conversation  hahahahahaa
OASG: hahah ya.
Me: *sigh* i'm a fuckin genius.


I kinda got laid off this morning due to the lack of funds my company has to keep my position here open, my last day  is Friday.This means  my FIN (foot in mouth) syndrome has now been uncorked. I would like to apologize in advance to my coworkers for all the sex jokes, swear words, burps, fart jokes, hand gestures, and for  saying " Peace out A -town down" every time i leave a room. I would also like to warn you that the above interaction with OASG is only me at 10% of my gutter mouth  potential.

I have been waiting to unleash my true nature on your " i want to be important sooooooo bad" asses for 10 months now..... i plan to enjoy this.

*i just noticed that Foot In Mouth Syndrome would actually be FIM syndrome not FIN syndrome. I left the error there to illustrate how non- genius-y i actually am................... But i like the name FIN syndrome so im not going to change it..... im just not going to tell people what it stands for so that no one will ever know how deep the blonde goes on my head. Except of course you guys... but i'm sure none of you awesome people will stop liking my blog because i'm a little bit of an air head right?  or  continue to read my blog while secretly thinking,... " awww poor mildly retarded girl, she needs love, lets help her boost her follower count!" to which i would say ' i don't need your charity! my mom says she loves me cuz im SPECIAL!'  right? well i can't hear how your responding to that so i'm just going to picture you all shaking your heads in a unanimous 'nooooo' and say ' thanks guys your awesome for not judging me!!!'*