Dear older sales woman

Dear sales woman who works in the cubicle down the hall,

why do you feel the need to mention every other day that your old enough to be my mother?

 Listen lady,  i know your freakin old okay?  I get that it sucks massive donkey balls that you have 10 years of experience and i have  1, and yet i got the office and you got the cubicle. It wasnt my fuckin decision okay? i didnt waltz in here thinking,  "hahaha old lady in the cubicle, sucks to be you"


But just cuz your freakin old  doesnt mean that you dont have to show me some fuckin respect ! For example, if im in the bosses office having a meeting about branding you cant just walk in and start talking to the boss like im not there! oh im sorry, actually you did acknowledge me, i believe the last time you walked in you said " oh sorry connie,  im gonna need a moment with Maria, just sit there and look pretty ill be done in a minute hahahahaha."   not. cool.

Also, when i tell the downtown office to send us more AM sales folders by friday, you cant call and ask them to get it done for wednesday instead. I'm handling it!!!! did you know that capable ppl were born in 1987?? ya i know its hard to imagine that someone born in a year you can remember clearly can actually wipe her own ass eh?  further more did you know that you, mean old lady, are in fact closer to diapers right now then i am? HA! stick that in your pipe and smoke it.


I apologize that this morning i kinda put you in  your place.... okay no im really not. but i am sorry that you were caught with that shocked look on your face, it was embarrassing for both of us.  I know that hearing me say " hey, i heard you called the downtown office and tried to over ride my deadline, dont do that. i make the deadlines, if you want to follow up, you can do so through me" probably startled you... suck it


and its not just me, mean old sales lady, that you piss off. the other day, in the boardroom, we were talking with John who just got a divorce and you said " a marriage will always last if a man can say 'sorry dear' HA, john, i guess you didnt say sorry enough did you hahahahha" NOT. COOL! cmon now what the hell is wrong in your head?


So please mean old sales lady, be nice, being older than everyone doesnt give you the right to throw your manners out the window. Being old doesnt mean that you "know what's best," it doesnt mean that you get to talk to me like you were the one wiping my ass back in the day. It doesnt mean you get to walk into my office all willy nilly and interupt my phone calls, or go rumaging threw the stuff on my desk without telling me what your looking for!!!!!

Plus, age aint nothin but a number. Just a heads up though, your age does mean you heal less quickly then i do. So if i happen to kick you in the shin your looking at a long recovery time... just kidding.... kinda.

xoxo
the baby in the office.